A Wonderful Life?
by Katherine Bell
Summary: Had she ruined his life? Lorelai was beginning to think that everyone would be better off without her. This story depicts Stars Hollow without Lorelai Gilmore…with Lorelai there herself to witness the changes. Based on “It’s a Wonderful Life!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: So after weeks of reading GG fanfic while I'm bored at work, I got inspired to write my own. Please give this story a chance. I hope you enjoy it! Reviews and suggestions are much appreciated:)

**Summary**: Had she ruined his life? Lorelai was beginning to think that everyone would be better off without her. This story depicts Stars Hollow without Lorelai Gilmore…with Lorelai there herself to witness the changes. Based on "It's a Wonderful Life!"

**Disclaimer**: None of the characters or mine, just most of the dialogue.

**Chapter One**

"Sometimes I sleep without any clothes on when I feel sick."

Lorelai Gilmore stared straight ahead of her as she listened to Gigi say good-bye to her father. The wall facing her wasn't much for entertainment, but she felt as if she could sink through the lowest realms of hell. She hadn't expected to wake up in Christopher's bed, completely naked, with his arm snaked around her waist the morning after she had threw such a severe ultimatum at Luke.

She let her mind drift back to the night before. The night before, when she had finally had enough. She knew she loved Luke, loved him with everything she had, and that's what scared her. She was ready to move into this next phase of her life with the only man she had ever loved. Sure, Christopher had been her first love, but she was 16. She couldn't even fully comprehend love at 16; then, she was more concerned with The Bangles or which teen boy icon she was destined to marry. Christopher had been her best friend and then, suddenly, her boyfriend, the father of her baby. She loved Christopher. But, she didn't love Christopher like she loved Luke. Luke was the only man that had ever put her at a loss for words, that had ever fully understood her. And when she saw him slipping away to his new found daughter, she freaked. It was now or never. She loved him and she wanted him, then. She was sick of waiting. Her face remained expressionless as she thought back to the last words her and Luke had exchanged before appearing at Christopher's doorstep.

_I've been waiting for a long time and I don't want to wait anymore._

_I have to think this through._

_No!_

_I have April._

_Well you're going to have to figure out how April fits into our lives, not the other way around._

_I'm trying._

_Well, try married._

_Just wait!_

_No, I'm not waiting, it's now or never._

_I don't like ultimatums._

_I don't like Mondays, but, unfortunately they come around eventually._

_I can't just jump like this._

_Well, I'm sorry to hear that. And I have to go._

She couldn't decide if she was mad at Luke or upset about the whole situation. She loved him and they had been engaged for nearly a year and still hadn't set a date for the wedding. It was supposed to be June 3; it was going to be June 3. And then April had to come along and ruin everything.

Well, she knew she couldn't blame her and Luke's crumbling relationship on April's sudden appearance. It was just a problem of bad timing. Karma or fate or any of those Professor Trelawney subjects had decided to finally turn on her. After all those years of pushing her and Luke closer and closer together, they were finally being pushed further and further apart.

Of course, that's not what she had wanted. She had wanted Luke, for so long she had wanted Luke. And, before that, she had wanted Rory back. And, before that, she had wanted the Dragonfly. She had wanted a lot of things in her life; some of them minimal and some of them life-changing. But, now, she didn't even know what she wanted anymore.

Sighing, she shifted her eyes to survey the rest of the room. It definitely had Christopher written all over it. Messy, with CDs stuck in random places. You could tell that the maid had been there, tidying as much as she could. Her eyes focused on two picture frames set on his dresser. One was of her, Christopher, and Rory when she was a baby. God, they were both so young then. Lorelai remembered that tingly feeling she got every time she looked at her precious daughter, a feeling she had never felt with Christopher. The other picture frame was of Christopher, Sherry, and Gigi after Gigi was born. His two families, represented on the same dresser.

Lorelai was supposed to have had two families. Her tiny one with Christopher, and then another one with Luke. She hadn't wanted oodles of kids running around the house. She was almost 40; she didn't think she could handle that. She had just wanted one, maybe two. Children that she and Luke could call their own.

Luke had been so good to Rory, treating her as if she was his own, and Lorelai had wanted to give Luke his own child, one that he could nurture and care for, together, despite the "jam hands." There wasn't supposed to be an April. She was a cool kid, but she wasn't supposed to be Luke's. She wasn't.

Lorelai sighed again, shifting her eyes back to the wall opposite her. She felt as if she should be crying, but no tears came to her eyes. In fact, she almost felt emotionless. The past 24 hours had been so confusing and gut wrenching that she felt as if she didn't have any emotion left in her. She felt empty.

Christopher sensed Lorelai's tiny movements and heard her sigh once, and then again. He hadn't questioned Lorelai the night before when she had shown up on his doorstep; he had let her in, no questions asked. It had been their agreement; even when they despised each other, they still tried to keep some sort of bond between them, for Rory. Of course, the long talk that led to a few beers and then, ultimately, sleeping together hadn't really been part of the plan. But, he hadn't complained, because he had Lorelai with him. Smiling to himself, he wrapped his arm tighter around her bare midsection and whispered into her ear, "Good morning."

Lorelai tensed at the sound of his voice, the feel of his breath on her skin. Suddenly, she felt dirty. She was lying in bed with a man that wasn't her fiancé; no, he was Rory's father, her high school crush. Well, more than a crush. But, how had she let herself end up here, naked, in his bed? How had that happened? Sure, she and Christopher were a good match, but she was meant to be with Luke, only Luke. Gasping, she wrapped the sheet as tightly as she could around her body and scrambled out of the bed, untangling her legs from Christopher's.

"Lor?" Christopher asked, staring up at her sleepily.

She froze when he said her name, staring at him like a deer caught in the headlights. She remained this way for a few seconds before finally regaining her surroundings.

"I-I have to go," she stammered, stumbling over to her clothes that were spread sporadically around his bedroom. She grabbed her jeans and shirt and rushed towards the bathroom.

"Wait-Lor!" Christopher said, jumping out of bed and following Lorelai to the bathroom. He was greeted by the door closing. He sighed and rested his forehead against the door. He should've known it would have turned out like this. Lorelai was an amazing and truly beautiful woman, but a part of him felt as if she was still growing up. Like he could be talking, the King of remaining immature, but he knew Lorelai made every single decision on her own and once her mind was made up, there was no turning back.

He stayed in that same position until Lorelai burst through the door, her eyes still wide in shock. She stared at Christopher for a few seconds before brushing past him and out the bedroom.

"Lor!" Christopher yelled, following her again like an obedient puppy. He found her in the living room, rummaging through her purse. He came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She immediately drew away. "What the hell is wrong with you, Lorelai?"

Lorelai stopped what she was doing and stared at Christopher with her stunningly blue eyes. She pierced him with them for a few seconds before saying, expressionless, "I have to go."

"I know that, but why are in such a rush? I thought we could maybe get some coffee, grab a bite to eat—"

Lorelai cut him off, acting as if the thought offended her. "No, Christopher! Just-no." She paused, taking a deep breath and glancing away at the distance. "I just—I need to go. I need to go to—Luke."

Christopher sighed. "To Luke?"

"Yes, to Luke!" Lorelai snapped, finally finding her keys and grabbing them, swinging her purse over her shoulder. "To Luke, my fiancé! I have to apologize; I have to see him—to talk to him."

"But, he treated you like shit," Christopher said. This called for a deathly glare from Lorelai before she stumbled in the direction of the front door. "Lor!"

Lorelai whirled around to face him. "Yes, maybe he treated me like shit. But, what do you call this that just happened? I'll tell you: a mistake. A slap across his face. And, now, I have to go see him, because I love him and we have to work things out."

Before Christopher had a chance to respond, Lorelai was out the front door, the slam reverberating through the entire room.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you all liked the first chapter! I'm setting up the scene, or whatever, before Lorelai pulls a Jimmy Stewart and sees what Stars Hollow would be like if she was never born. That part should be coming within the next 2 chapters or so. Anyway, please read and review!

**LorLukealways**: I know, I hate fanfics with Lorelai and Christopher together! He's okay, but he totally ruined all chances of being with her ages ago. Luke is her man, for sure.

**xhollywoodxheartsx**Glad you liked it! Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint! Oh, and thanks for being my first reviewer! Or reviewee…ok, that's not a word.

**Finding Disco**: I know, pose finale fics that include Luke and Lorelai breaking up make me want to cry…but, I'm glad you like mine so far! Please keep reading!

Another thing—what is an alert? It's been like 3 years since I posted a fanfic, so I'm kinda rusty. And this story has 6 alerts according to my stats. Can someone please tell me what it is? Thanks!

**Chapter 2**

Lorelai drove back to Stars Hollow in silence, not even bothering to turn on her radio. She muted her cell phone after Christopher's fourth call. She just concentrated on the road ahead of her, the hum of the tires driving over the smooth pavement soothing her and preparing her for what she had to do. She had to tell Luke. She had to. There was no way around it. He had had asked her to be honest, all those months ago, and, even though he had carried through very poorly with his end of the bargain, she felt compelled to tell him. She couldn't live with the guilt of the night before resting on her chest like a heavy weight. She to tell him and, hopefully, he could find it in himself to forgive her. She hoped he loved her enough to forgive her.

She finally came to the exit for Stars Hollow, exiting into the little town effortlessly. She drove past the Inn and her house, not even bothering to glance at them. She was on a mission, her eye on the prize. When her eyes finally fell on Luke's, her breath caught in her throat. Was she really ready to do this? Tell Luke she had basically cheated on him? Could she handle it?

She pushed the thought of backing out to the farthest corner of her mind and pulled to a stop right outside of Luke's. However, when she went to open the car door, she noticed something. Squinting her eyes, she saw a "Gone fishing" sign taped to the door and the open/closed sign turned to close. Sitting up straight in shock, Lorelai stared at the sign for a few more seconds before grabbing her cell phone out of her purse. Ignoring the other eight missed phone calls from Christopher, she pressed 3, the speed dial for Luke's number, and waited.

It went straight to voice mail.

Sighing in frustration, Lorelai slammed her flip phone shut and threw it in the passenger seat. Her head fell into her hands as she leaned against the steering wheel for support. He had left her. He was gone. There was no way she could win him back now. Sighing again, she picked up her head and stared listlessly out the window. What was she going to do now? Noticing Ms. Patty headed her direction, she quickly put her car in drive and sped off, leaving her thoughts until later. She wasn't in the mood to be confronted by nosy townspeople.

The drive to her house didn't take that long. Her heart skyrocketed when she saw Luke's truck parked in an angle in front of the house. She quickly parked her car and jumped out. Running over to his car, she noticed it was still running. Lorelai's heartbeat quickened when she realized he must be inside the house. Pulling her light jacket tightly around her, she ran into the house and threw open the unlocked door.

Lorelai could hear someone rummaging around upstairs, yelling random curse words. Yep, that was definitely Luke. She thought about calling for him, but decided against it. So, she tiptoed quietly up the stairs. The fact that she was sneaking around in her own house was not lost on her, but she resisted the temptation to let out a small laugh. Besides, this really wasn't a laughing matter.

She followed his curses into her bedroom, their bedroom, where he was rummaging around in one of his dresser drawers, throwing things left and right. She watched him for a few seconds, standing square in the middle of the doorway, taking it all in. Finally, she took a deep breath and said, "Luke."

He didn't hear her, her voice lost within one of his curses. She let a few moments of silence pass. She was about to call his name again when a pair of boxers flew past her face.

"Whoa there, sparky, you're sure to take an eye out," Lorelai said lightly, trying not to sound as freaked out as she was. Luke froze, dropping the t-shirt he was holding. Lorelai was trying to remember if she'd ever seen him wear a t-shirt alone without the flannel on top when Luke turned his head. His eyes stopped on Lorelai's body, moving up her until they met her face.

"Hi," Lorelai said softly, entering the room slowly and sitting down on the bed. "Going somewhere?"

Luke continued look at her for a few moments before turning back to his drawer, shuffling through it again. "I'm going fishing for a few days."

"Oh, good," Lorelai said, trying to sound genuinely happy. "You need some time alone."

Luke froze, again, when she said this, staring down at the drawer in front of him. Lorelai watched his back tentatively, wondering if she should have included the last part. Encouraging time alone after asking him to elope seemed to contradict each other.

Luke spoke in an even tone. "You didn't come home last night."

"Ah," Lorelai muttered, staring down at her hands. Here was her chance. Her chance to try and fix things, to make everything right with them. And, for the first time in her life, she was at a loss for what her next move should be. She knew what she needed to do, but was hesitant on how to take action. She continued to watch his back, waiting to see if he was going to include an, "I was worried" or "I missed you," but he didn't say anything more. Fidgeting with her hands, she said, barely audible, "I was at Christopher's."

Lorelai could literally feel the tension in the room shift. The air suddenly felt thicker, as if she couldn't breathe. She kept her eyes focused on his back until he slowly moved to look at her. She flinched when she saw his face. Every feature was screaming at her. His eyes were dark and cold and uncaring. Hateful, almost. His fists were clenched and he was gritting his teeth. He stared at her for a few seconds, his features growing fiercer. Finally, he said, "What?"

Lorelai faltered when she spoke. "I—I went to Christopher's. I needed a friend."

"You could've gone to Rory," Luke said, stiffly.

Lorelai shook her head, staring at her feet intently. "Logan left for London today; she threw a big going-away bash for him."

"What about Sookie?" Luke asked.

"She's got two kids, Luke, she doesn't have time for my personal issues," Lorelai looked at Luke as she said this, using her hands for emphasis.

Luke still wasn't convinced. "Michel."

Lorelai snorted. "Please. Have you ever seen Michel comfort anybody? The only people he really likes are Chin and Pow wow, whatever the hell their names are, and they aren't even people, their dogs."

Any other time, Luke would have mocked Michel along with him. Instead, he continued to stare at her, his fists clenched. After a while, he turned back to the drawer and grabbed his camping survival kit and a few shirts. Barely glancing at Lorelai, he stood up and stomped out of the room.

Lorelai watched his retreating back for a few minutes in shock before following him. "You don't even want to hear what I have to say?"

"No," Luke answered, firmly, bounding down the stairs.

Lorelai followed. "But, Luke...please. Give me a chance to explain."

"No," Luke answered again.

"Luke!" Lorelai yelled, running after him and out the front door. He had already reached his truck and was throwing his belongings inside.

"Whatever you have to say, Lorelai, I don't want to hear it," Luke said forcefully, shooting her a hateful glance.

Lorelai was shocked. He wasn't even giving her a chance. "Luke, this isn't fair!" Lorelai exclaimed, grabbing his arm as she came to stand beside him.

Luke jerked his arm away. Glaring at her, he barked, "It's completely fair, Lorelai. You give me an ultimatum to elope with you, leave without giving me any idea about where you're going. Then you spend the night with Christopher, and now you expect me to give you a chance? You know how I feel about Christopher, Lorelai."

"Yes!" Lorelai said, pleading with him now. "I know! But, he is Rory's father!"

"Dammit!" Luke exclaimed, kicking his truck in anger. "I was more of a father to her than he ever was!"

"I know, Luke," Lorelai said. She could feel the tears finally coming, pricking the sides of her eyes.

"I know. But, I was just so upset and I needed someone."

"Well, great," Luke snapped, opening up his car forcefully and shoving his body inside. "Then go be with Christopher."

"Luke!" Lorelai pleaded, tears starting to drip down her face. "This isn't fair! I've given you _plenty_ of chances, don't I deserve one? I gave you your space with April and forgave you when you didn't tell me for two months! _Two months_, Luke! And now you're getting mad at me because of Christopher? It's an old topic! You don't like him, we know! The sky writer will be here in an hour!"

Luke glared at her through the open car window. "This isn't time for jokes, Lorelai."

"I know that! Of all people, don't you think I know that? But, you're not giving me a chance! Just give me one chance, Luke, please!"

Luke stared at her, and for a minute, she thinks he's going to say okay. He's going to say okay, and get out of his trunk and envelop her in a hug, saying it will all be alright. They would work things out. They could get married soon, tomorrow if she wanted to. They would be happy. But, instead, he hissed, "You've had your chance, Lorelai."

"Luke!" Lorelai called, throwing her arms down angrily. But, it's too late. Luke pulled out of the yard quickly and sped off, dust clouds forming behind him. Lorelai watched his disappearing truck until even the dust clouds are gone, and that was when the sobbing took over her. Collapsing on her front lawn, she hung her head in defeat.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Chapter 3! One more installment before she pulls the wonderful life. About that, I'm going to take a vote: do you think Lorelai should have a Clarence like Jimmy Stewart's character did (you know, the angel), or do you think she should be on her own? I can't decide…anyway, enjoy! Thanks for all the reviews:D

**Chapter 3**

Lorelai listened to the rings as she held the house phone to her ear, praying Rory would pick up. She needed her daughter, her best friend. Rory always knew what to say to comfort her. She was her pal, her mini-me. She had been the only thing for so long that made her life worth living. And now, when she felt her world crumbling around her, there was no one else she knew to call.

After Luke had left, she had cried on the front lawn until Babette had come outside, yelling at her before she had even opened her front door. She helped Lorelai inside her house, calling her "Suga" so many times it made her sick. Lorelai collapsed on her couch the minute Babette stopped in front of it and she had been sitting there ever since. Babette had made her some hot cocoa and thrown a blanket around her shaking body. It had been long since Babette had left, and Lorelai was still sitting in the same position, the blanket wrapped around her, the now cold hot cocoa clasped in her right hand.

She finally decided to call Rory about two hours later. She knew Rory would be struggling with Logan's recent departure for London, but she needed her pal. Maybe that could wallow together, make a party out of it. Convince Taylor to turn it into an annual festival. Smiling at the thought, Lorelai had dialed Rory's number.

"Hey mom," Rory's voice drifted over the phone line, sounding hollow and upset. Lorelai brightened at the sound of her daughter's voice.

"Rory," Lorelai said, barely above a whisper, pulling the blanket closer around her.

Rory immediately sensed something was wrong. She knew her mother well and could read every tone of voice she used. "What's wrong, Mom?"

"Luke—he left." Lorelai choked out, the tears returning.

"What?" Rory said, disbelief written in her voice.

"He's gone—the dust clouds and the fishing," Lorelai said in broken phrases. "Christopher—he's gone."

Rory didn't even take time to decipher the cryptic language her mother had just used. "I'll be right over."

Lorelai breathed a sigh of relief. Clicking the phone off, she whispered, "Thank you," snuggling into the corner of the couch.

By the time Rory arrived at the house, Lorelai was buried underneath the blanket, staring straight ahead of her. She didn't seem to be looking at anything; her eyes were glazed over and unfocused. Rory let herself in and immediately rushed to her mother's side, skidding to perch in front of her.

"Mom," Rory said, resting her hand on her mother's shoulder and staring at her face. She could tell she had been crying. She looked awful. Her hair was a mess and her face was white as a sheet. She was shaking slightly as she clutched her fists to the blanket.

"Rory," Lorelai said, smiling at her daughter's face. "I didn't want to call you, I know you're sad, but I needed you."

Rory brushed off her comments. "Mom, please. You know I'd come running the minute you said Luke was gone." She paused for a second, taking a deep breath, before asking, "Where is he?"

Lorelai shook her head slightly, muttering, "He hates me."

"Okay," Rory said, softly. "But, where is he?"

"Fishing," Lorelai said quietly. "He hates me. He hates me because of Christopher."

"Dad?" Rory asked, confused by the whole situation. She knew her mother had been having some difficulties with Luke lately, even though she wouldn't voice them;

well, counting the major Tequila drinking at Lane's wedding where she had decided to take the mike. But, she felt as if she was losing him, as if he was slipping through her fingers like grains of salt. Slowly, he was transferring more and more of his attention to April and her well being, forgetting Lorelai. Not on purpose, but it had the same effect. She knew her mother loved him more than any other man she had ever dated, and that was what hurt the most. She needed to know what had happened that had caused

Luke's leaving and where her dad came into the picture. "Mom, what happened?" Rory asked gently.

Lorelai brushed a piece of hair aside and looked into her daughter's caring eyes. Licking her lips, she went back to the beginning—to the shrink Emily had tried to set Christopher up with, to her confrontation with Luke, to her appearance at Christopher's doorway.

Rory's eyes widened when Lorelai broke the news that she had slept with her father—again. Lorelai ended with her recent argument with Luke, the tears appearing again.

When she was done, Rory remained silent for a few moments, simply looking at her mother and rubbing her shoulder, comforting her. When she had finally pieced together what she wanted to say, she spoke, tentative. "But, dad—why?"

Lorelai shrugged her shoulders, "Because, he's Christopher. He's always been there for me. I needed a friend."

"You could've come to me," Rory offered.

"You were with Logan, I didn't want to ruin your last night together," Lorelai said, softly.

Rory pursed her lips together as she thought about what she wanted to say next. "Can I say something?"

"On a soap box, if you want to," Lorelai said, quietly, her wit never failing her.

Rory backed away and perched herself on the opposite end of the couch. Lorelai remained in the same position, shifting her eyes to glance at her daughter every once and a while. "Here's my opinion about dad: he was your first love. You never forget your first love, especially when they leave with you a baby. Dad has always loved you, no one else but you. Sherry and every other girl he's dated were just

second best to the only girl he ever wanted, but could never have, you. And, for a while, you took advantage of this love for you. You knew he needed you and loved you so, whenever you were feeling low, you turned to him. He has always been there for you, waiting. But, I think every time you two, you know—got together, like got together—has been hurtful to you. It didn't mean anything, you were just trying to make yourself feel better. You survived on this for a while until Luke came along. And you loved him, more than anything. He's the only man you gave your whole heart to. And, because of that, you got hurt 1000 times more. And so you went to dad, just to seek that feeling of love, even though it wasn't anything compared to Luke's."

Lorelai listened to Rory's speech without saying a word or even moving. She snickered a bit when Rory mentioned the baby part but, mostly, remained silent, soaking in the words of wisdom her daughter was laying on her. And, listening to her words, she knew she was right. Rory was completely right. She always turned to Christopher because she knew he would always be there for her. Sure, they had fighted, but who hasn't? Her and Christopher had had their share of good times and bad times. Rory had even joked once that they make the Led Zeppelin song their theme song. But, she didn't want Christopher, she wanted Luke. And she had screwed up everything, big time.

Looking at her daughter, Lorelai let a small smile cover her face and moved closer to Rory, wrapping her arms around her. Rory hugged her back, tightly, and they just sat there, in each other's arms. Finally, Lorelai said, "Thank you."

Rory smiled, "No problem. Of course, the bill will be coming in the mail next week, and I only take $100s, so be prepared." Lorelai laughed a bit as she let go of Rory, running her hands through her hair. Sighing, she leaned back into the couch. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

Lorelai laughed, leaning forward to kiss Rory on the cheek. Rory returned the gesture and jumped up from the couch. "I'm gonna make some coffee."

"Okay," Lorelai replied, slouching back down into the couch. She threw an arm over her head and stared listlessly about the room her and Luke had redecorated, just for them. All those long days of hammering and men traipsing around their house and TJ fussing about one thing or another. God, she missed him already.

"Hey, mom, where's Paul Anka?" Rory called, peeking her head out of the kitchen. Lorelai shrugged her shoulders.

"I dunno, maybe upstairs."

"I thought he hated the upstairs."

"Well, he may have joined a program. Taking it one step at a time. Ha, get it, one step at a time!"

Lorelai laughed at her own joke, glad she had her daughter there to comfort her and listen to her while she was being zany.

"You're crazy!" Rory said before returning to the coffee pot.

Lorelai pondered on her daughter's comment. Was she crazy? Not like funny crazy, but _crazy_ crazy? Straight jacket crazy? She knew she wasn't, but the thought was helpful as she pondered about the previous events. Insanity could help explain the way her life was moving.

She began sniffling as Luke's absence began setting in again. He hates me, she kept repeating over and over in her head. Had she made his life miserable? Had she put him through that much? She liked to think that she had been good for him, not the other way around. But, the way he acted at times contradicted that thought.

What if she had never met him? What would he be like then? What would _she_ be like then? What would _anyone_ she had ever known be like if she hadn't entered their life? She liked to think that they would probably be better off. Had she ruined Luke's life? Her parent's life? She was just a burden, someone that they wished they could easily forget. She didn't know if all these thoughts bouncing around in her head were related just towards Luke or her life as a whole. All she knew is that when she drifted to sleep on the couch, her daughter making small movements in the kitchen, she swore she could hear someone whispering in her ear.

**Next chapter**: The Jimmy Stewart moment! Please don't forget to vote on whether or not you want a Clarence…and review!


	4. Author's Note

Sorry if I disappoint when you find out that this isn't the next chapter...I have it written, but it still needs a little tweaking. :)

I just wanted to fill everyone in on the whole "It's a Wonderful Life" aspect for those of you who have never seen the movie. And if you haven't: SHAME ON YOU! Haha, but seriously...go rent it now. The fact that it's a Christmas movie is a minor detail. Actually, it was voted as the best feel good movie of all time or something like that. Warm fuzzies. Anyway...here's a quick summary of the movie:

George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, is considering suicide after he and his Uncle Billy misplace an $8000 loan and suffer under the evil Mr. Potter (sort of like the Taylor of Bedford Falls, the town in the movie, only way meaner) on Christmas Eve. Instead of enjoying the Christmas spirit with his family, he saves Clarence after jumping off a bridge, during which he was contemplating the suicide. Clarence just so happens to be his guardian angel who was sent to earth to stop George from committing suicide by showing him what a wonderful life he has. After George claims "I wish I'd never been born!" or something to that effect, Clarence makes that wish come true. He then shows him what Bedford Falls and the people he has affected in his life would be like without him. It's really depressing and scary; like, when he was younger, he saved his younger brother, Harry. But, in this new reality, when he rushes to his parent's house, he finds only his mother who is divorced and totally different due to the death of Harry, since George wasn't around to save him. Of course, there's a happy ending, as it's a Christmas movie. :) Oh, and I'll refer to the line "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." In the movie, Clarence finally earns his wings because of the help he gives George.

Hopefully that was clear enough...I've seen the movie like 1000 times because it's my mom's favorite Christmas movie...we have a board game and a Christmas Bedford Falls village and everything. Yeah, that's completely normal.

Well, I gotta get back to actually doing something--I'm at work right now. Well, work being my internship at the local newspaper. Which, btw, TOTALLY kicks butt compared to Rory's. It's my last week though...sadness. But, that's okay, because I'm going to see Dave Matthews in concert and then school starts back! I'm a sophomore in college...yeah, exciting.

I'll update with a REAL chapter soon, promise. Oh, and if you're new to this story, I wouldn't mind some reviews. They're swell. :)

Katherine


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N**: Finally…the long awaited Jimmy Stewart chapter! I hope you all enjoy! _Please_ give me your opinion when you're done reading aka a REVIEW! I love reviews like whoa…and about as much as I love coffee. Yes, I share that with the Gilmores. Now READ! And thanks for all the amazing reviews so far, ya'll are great!

**i dance with myself**: That's so weird that we thought of the same idea! Yeah, I thought of it last week too…it just came to me and then BAM I was writing! I'm glad you like it so far!

Oh, and thanks for all the opinions on the Clarence issue. I really appreciate it! You'll find out my decision soon. :D

**Chapter 4**

Lorelai woke up the next morning to a baby crying. Opening her eyes slowly, she peered around her in confusion. Where was she? She remembered falling asleep on her couch, Rory kissing her good night before heading off to sleep herself. And god, was sleeping on that couch an awful idea. It still had yet to be broken in to normal Gilmore comfortableness, which the crick in her neck was telling her at this very moment. Stretching, she sat up slowly, looking casually at her surroundings.

That's when she recognized it. She was _not_ in her own house. At least not in her house as she had remembered it. It was her house, alright. But, the furniture was completely different, and it was actually clean, as opposed to the comforting clutter she liked to keep around. Magazines and baby books were spread everywhere, and a plasma TV covered the wall where the fireplace had been.

Throwing off the blanket, which she quickly realized wasn't hers either, she headed in the direction of the kitchen. The house was painted this god-awful green color with flowers everywhere. Pictures covered the walls, but she was too distracted to try and make out the faces in the pictures. She stumbled through the kitchen, which was a light shade of red (puke red) and shoved Rory's door open.

She nearly jumped in shock. Instead of Rory's single wooden bed and old posters, she found a yellow baby room, with teddy bears everywhere. Lorelai gasped at the sight. Inching into the room, she noticed the screaming baby in the corner.

She shook her head in disbelief. "Okay, Rory, joke's over now!"

No response.

"Rory! This isn't funny! Quit messing with Mommy and get your ass in here!"

Still no response. The baby, on the other hand, only started wailing louder.

"Rory! I mean it! How the hell did you manage to pull off something like this anyway? I mean—" Lorelai came to a halt, jumping when she noticed a young blond girl standing in the doorway, motionless, staring at her. She had a sun hat perched on her hand and was clutching a baby bottle in the other, eying Lorelai as if she was the Black Plague.

"Oh!" Lorelai said, clutching her hand to her heart. "God, you scared me."

The blonde remained motionless, her eyes fixated on Lorelai. Her eyes were a mixture of confusion and frustration. She spoke evenly, her mouth hardly moving. "Who are you and what are you doing in my house."

Lorelai jerked her head back when she said "my house." My house, she thought, this is _my_ house, not hers! What was she talking about? She had lived in this house for more than ten years, and she knew for a fact that she hadn't let strange people wonder around inside of it, redecorating the rooms and painting the walls colors Martha Stewart would inherently discourage. If only she had her paint sample thingy with her, she could give this girl a listen on how to _really_ paint a house. But, before they became bosom buddies through the help of a paint brush, she needed to found out who this chick was and what the hell she was doing in _her_ house.

"Um," Lorelai said, giving the girl her best 'you're an idiot' glare, "This is _my_ house."

Upon hearing these words, the blonde pulled her head back, staring at her in shock. When she didn't say anything, Lorelai continued babbling.

"Yeah, has been for more than ten years. When did we move into this house? God, I can't even remember. I just remember we had to save up for it for ever and ever, and when we finally moved in, we had to borrow furniture from the Inn and…" Lorelai trailed off when she noticed the blonde was glaring at her. "Anyway, so yeah. I've lived here for a while, so I think I would know my house."

The blonde snorted in disgust before speaking. "Well, _I've_ lived here with my husband for six years, so _I _think I would know what my house looks like," the blonde retorted. She walked briskly by Lorelai, looking her up and down, before cooing at the baby in the corner, picking her up and hoisting her on her shoulder. Well, at least Lorelai assumed she was a girl, she was dressed in all pink. Hopefully not some kind of twisted joke. Giving the baby the bottle, she turned to Lorelai. "Besides, no one had lived in this house since 1995 before we moved in, so I think you must be sadly mistaken."

_Well_, Lorelai thought, _she certainly has a stick up her ass_. But, 1995, wasn't that the year the Stocktons had moved out? Taylor was so appalled by their desire to live in a big city, away from his insane festivals and the town gossip, that he had refused to mention their name for years. And, when he finally did, it was with a tight-lipped expression. God, he was a strange man.

Suddenly, Lorelai gasped, looking straight at the blonde's face. She knew this girl. The last time she remembered seeing her was by the gazebo, her face crushed, as her mother pulled a one over on Rory. Cocking an eyebrow, Lorelai said, "Lindsey?"

Lindsey's mouth dropped in shock. She stared at Lorelai for a few seconds before saying, "How do you know my name? Who the hell _are_ you?"

"Lindsey, Lindsey, it's me, Lorelai!" No look of recognition crossed Lindsey's face when Lorelai said her name. She just continued to stare daggers at her. Lorelai, however, wasn't giving up so quickly. "Lorelai Gilmore, my daughter, uh, Rory, is your age."

Lindsey stared at Lorelai for a few more seconds, bouncing the baby on her hip, before saying, "I've never heard that name before."

Lorelai gasped in disbelief, also insulted. "What? No, that's impossible! I've lived here for 20 years! You went to school with my daughter, you bought her that stupid Mark Twain magnet, she was always talking about that Mark Twain magnet!" Lorelai could tell Lindsey was completely lost as she threw these memories at her, but she continued babbling. Nothing was making sense. How could she not know her? "And, then you had the wedding and you and your mom would bring Dean something to eat everyday while he worked on the Inn and then he cheated on you with Rory—"

"He WHAT?" Lindsey's features had altered when Dean's name was mentioned, and they had exploded when Lorelai threw cheating into the mix. She was fuming, her face was heating up so fast she looked like a red tomato with a blonde bob. Finding the situation probably rather inappropriate to laugh, Lorelai ignored the color of her face.

"Dammit," Lorelai muttered as Lindsey exploded in front of her. She hadn't taken time to consider that, in whatever crazy mixed up universe she had just been stuck in, that Lindsey and Dean were still married. It would make sense, sort of, considering Rory didn't seem to exist. Lorelai quickly pushed that thought to the back of her mind. No, she was missing something here. Someone was playing a practical joke on her. Well, not really practical. If any joke was not practical, this was it. Lindsey making it sound as if she had never existed was _not_ practical.

"So," Lorelai said uncomfortably, shifting her feet. "Dean is your husband."

Lindsey, still fuming, retorted, "Yes. And what do you mean he _cheated _on me?"

Lorelai could tell that there was going to be no easy way to get out of this one. Had could she tell Lindsey that his husband had cheated on a girl that didn't seem to really exist to her? And, from the look in her eyes, even as she tried to feed her baby, she seemed to be very possessive of Dean. Well, I guess she had a right to, he is her husband. God, that sounded so weird to say again. But, she could also see that ounce of fear in her eyes; the same look Lindsey carried whenever Rory was around. The feeling that she wasn't good enough. Guess she didn't need Rory around to still feel that way with Dean.

"Um," Lorelai started, fidgeting nervously with her hands. She wanted nothing more to get of this house and find out she was just dreaming or losing her mind. Losing her mind would be much better then to hear that Lindsey had apparently never heard of her before, or her daughter. "He didn't cheat on you—"

Lindsey cut her off. God, she was really angry. "Well, then why did you even say that?"

"Because…" Lorelai stalled as she tried to come up with a good excuse. Or a good lie. Either would be appreciated. "Because…I got you mixed up! Yeah, with my _cousin_ Dean. He's, um, married to a girl named Lizzie and, so—"

"So, your cousin cheated on his wife with your _daughter_? What kind of twisted story is that?"

Dammit. She hadn't thought of that. Lindsey was way smarter than she remembered her. And she was just digging herself into a bigger hole with her pathetic lying skills. Why had she never been a good liar? That had always been something she had failed miserably at. The longest lie she had ever been able to keep was when she was pregnant, and that was 21 years ago. Her skills had gotten rusty since.

Lorelai looked back at Lindsey, her baby still on her shoulder, still glaring at her with that freakish piercing stare. She had to get out of this house. She had to figure out what the hell was going on, and Lindsey certainly wasn't helping.

"Well, we're originally from Arkansas, so you know how that goes…just add the no shoes habit and you've got yourself a real life remake," Lorelai was babbling again, but she didn't know what else she could say that wouldn't earn her a disapproving glare from Lindsey.

"So, did he cheat on me with you?" Lindsey asked, sharply, shifting her baby to the other hip. The baby giggled and reached up to pull on Lindsey's hair, who didn't even seem to notice that her child was giving her a brand new hair-do.

If she had been drinking anything, that definitely would have qualified a spitting out the beverage moment for Lorelai. She quickly said, "God, no, no Lindsey! I'm 38 and—engaged—so, no." Noticing her explanation wasn't helping the situation any, Lorelai clapped her hands together and said, "You know what, I gotta go! So, yeah…."

With that, Lorelai exited the room and quickly made her way to the front door, Lindsey following her. She exited the house as fast as she could, not wanting to suffer under Lindsey's wrath any longer, closing the door behind her. She heard it lock as Lindsey stomped away on the other side.

Sighing, Lorelai walked down the porch steps, her porch steps, and looked out at the front lawn. Well, it certainly didn't look like the front lawn she remembered. There were flowers everywhere. She really had a thing for flowers, didn't she? Lorelai liked flowers, but Lindsey's amount of them was almost tacky. _I wonder if she got them from Babette_, Lorelai thought, smiling as she remembered her and Rory's experience with bulbs. They definitely weren't gardening people.

Looking over to the side of the lawn where she usually parked her car, she saw a minivan instead. That was not her car for sure, she hated minivans. She hated the women that drove minivans even more; they always acted like they were in some kind of freakin NASCAR race, zooming by you on the highway like nobody's business. Soccer moms. Jeez.

A thought hitting her, Lorelai ran over to the shed and peered in. Instead of finding Luke's boat and her decorated walls, she saw a lawnmower, weed eater, and a couple of bikes.

Sighing again, Lorelai covered her face with her hands. She brought them down to clasp across her chest as she tried to take in everything she had just witnessed.

Nothing made sense at all. This was her house, her front yard, her shed, except nothing was right. The chuppah wasn't even there. What had happened? Had she been stuck in some kind of time portable? What was going on? It didn't make any sense at all. And, the way Lindsey had looked and talked to her, it was like she had never existed.

_Had never existed_…the thought began pounding louder and louder in her head. It couldn't be. She had certainly existed; for 38 years, she had definitely lived a life, or something, at least. There was no way it could have all disappeared in the blink of an eye. There was no way _she_ could have disappeared in the blink of an eye.

On the verge of a major freak out, Lorelai began digging in her jeans pocket for her cell phone, where she had remembered leaving it last. Not finding it, she searched in all her pockets in her jeans and then in her jacket. No where. Nothing in any of them, not even the slip of paper she had written a customer's name and number on the other day at the Dragonfly when they had called in with a complaint. It was as if none of it had ever happened. The only thing that remained was her clothes.

Frowning, Lorelai looked back at the house. Maybe she had left her cell phone on the coffee table. She was tempted to go back and look, but a gut feeling told her she wouldn't find it. She needed to call Rory to see what was happening, but another gut feeling told her nobody would answer, or that the number would belong to someone else all together. That was a scary thought. Her kid had vanished all together. And, from the looks of it, _she_ had vanished all together.

No, it couldn't be, it couldn't be! Feeling tears coming again for the 100th time lately—honestly, she could give Johnny Depp a run for his money—she collapsed on the front lawn. Could she even call it her front lawn? What kind of twisted universe had she been stuck in? What was going on?

Kicking her legs in frustration, Lorelai lied back in what apparently _used_ to be her front lawn. Had she got her wish? Well, it hadn't really been a wish, just a mixed up, sleepy mind wondering what the world would be like without her. But, she hadn't really meant it. She loved her life; Rory, the Inn, Paul Anka, Sookie, even Michel at times. And Luke, she loved Luke. She had never wanted to change her life for anything; much less be told that she had never existed.

No,it couldn't be. Lorelai sat up, running her hands through her hair. Glancing around her, her eyes set on Babette's house. Standing up, she brushed her jeans off. If anyone could tell her what was really going on here, it would be Babette.

Review…please:D I love to hear what you all think, it's what keeps the story going!


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N**: I'm gonna do a little explaining for this chapter…in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life," it takes us through important or heartwarming moments in George Bailey's life. That's what I tried to do here. I also included a bit about her Guardian Angel. In the movie, it also shows the "head" of Guardian Angels assigning Clarence to George Bailey, so I included something like that here…you'll just have to see. Hopefully it's not too confusing! Oh, and did you know that Donna Reed played George Bailey's wife in the movie? I thought that was funny, considering the Donna Reed episode. THANKS a million to all my faithful reviewers! You make my heart smile!

**sapphirestar820**: You pointed out that the 6 year marriage of Dean and Lindsey would have them around the age of 16 when they got married…so let's just pretend I said 3! My mistake:D

**Disclaimer**: I own absolutely nothing…except for Carrie. Imagine her as Nia Vardolas. You know, the woman who wrote and starred in _My Big Fat Greek Wedding_ and _Connie and Carla_? Brilliant movies!

**Chapter 5**

Meanwhile, far, far away in the clouds, Head of Guardian Angels, Lorelai Gilmore I, more fondly known as "Trix," was sitting patiently at her desk, awaiting her visitor. She hated waiting. It made her feel old and despicable. According to her, if you had an appointment to make, you made it on time. Not one minute late, rushing in with your hair astray. Which was exactly what Carrie Buchanan did as she flew into the office, four minutes and twenty-two seconds late.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Gilmore," the woman said apologetically, out of breath. She was a younger angel, having died in a car accident at the age of 42. She wasn't bad looking. The simple white robe she donned brought out her brown eyes and dark brown hair. In a way, she reminded her of her granddaughter. She had been a schoolteacher on earth, and had just received a promotion to teach at a prestigious private university weeks before her death. She had raised two children, 22 and 16 at her death (which was 54 years ago), on her own. She had been engaged to a sensible man when her accident occurred. Many believed the fight the two had gotten into over something silly before she jumped in her car contributed to the accident. Either way, she had died with a broken heart.

For that sole purpose, Trix had finally landed on her to be Lorelai's Guardian Angel in this troubling time in her life. She figured she could relate to her and help her, possibly point her in the right direction and back to Luke. Even though he ran that despicable diner place, Trix appreciated anyone who worked hard and supported themselves. Lorelai and Luke were destined to be together, it was a fact. Plus, Carrie had yet to receive her wings. She had had many failed attempts, but, no victories. And, quite honestly, Trix found it a disgrace to reach the age of 100 (in her Angel state) still wingless. Therefore, she was trying to help her as well.

"It's no problem," Trix said, as nicely as she could, motioning for Carrie to take a seat. Carrie obliged, tripping over her feet twice before finally making it to the chair. She exhaled deeply, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Trix surveyed her for a few seconds, trying to keep a smile on her face, before saying, "Well, you probably know why I called you in here today."

"I'm guessing it's not because I won the lottery," Carrie said, smiling mischievously. Trix sighed. Ever since Heaven had decided to invest in an entertainment center (which was really not that much trouble, all that had to be done was for God to wave his hand and there it was), Angels left and right had become consumed with the damn thing. She found the whole idea useless and a waste of time. The Power Ball and game show network had become one of the more popular stations, causing the most respectable Angels to lose their head over a stupid TV show.

"No, it's not," Trix spoke through a thin-lipped smile. "I have another assignment for you."

Carrie's eyes lit up. "Really?"

"Yes. Really." Trix said, resisting the urge to say something sarcastic. "You'll need to go down there for this one."

Down there was earth for the Angels, not Australia or the Outback. Cases varied when it came to an Angel being assigned to a human as their Guardian. The good, the bad, and the ugly. The good was usually just a minor case, such as a severe eating problem or extreme wallowing over the loss of a boyfriend. In those cases, the Guardian Angel assisted in subtle ways, such as having everything go their way for a week or so, but never actually coming down to earth. In "bad" cases, the person was usually depressed or experiencing serious abuse, etc, and the Guardian Angel would, again, try to lift their spirits in some way, or give them signs that pointed towards seeking help if they were being abused. Again, no earth.

But, in "Ugly" cases, the Guardian Angel returned to their homeland. An Ugly case consisted of a suicidal person or someone wishing they had never been born, along those lines. Trix had been quite shocked when she saw Lorelai's name appear on the radar as "Ugly." She knew her granddaughter had suffered through many trials in her life, but she never thought she would be depressed enough to wish she had never been born. If anything, she would have expected this kind of thinking after Rory's birth and the struggles following rather than in her relationship with Luke. But, Trix knew she loved Luke with her whole heart, and that's why she was hurting so much.

She had called for Carrie almost immediately and now, here they were, about to take action. "One Lorelai Victoria Gilmore II has been suffering through major difficulties with her fiancé as of late, and has recently wished she had never existed. This calls for a plan of action."

Carrie cocked her head to the right when Trix mentioned Lorelai's name, and it was about three or four more long seconds before she finally put two and two together. "Wait, isn't that your name? Is she—?"

Trix waved her hand in the air, not wanting her blood relation to the hurting woman to get in the way, "A minor detail."

Carrie's mouth formed an O as she shook her head, at least pretending to understand.

"You will be sent to Lorelai's side within the hour. I have already granted her wish; she is still sleeping, but when she wakes up, she will find that she never existed. Give her some time to let this new reality sink in before approaching her. Help her as much as you can before leaving her to her own decision. Scare her a bit with the thought of never gaining her life back, but not too much. We don't want to get into anything too serious; it would be a horrible mess if she committed suicide when she didn't really exist."

Both Trix and Carrie shuddered at the thought. Sure, they could fix the suicide alright, since the person wouldn't really exist at the time anyway, but it was completely exhausting to give someone their life back when, in their normal reality, they had wanted to take it away anyway. The person wouldn't remember any of the events that occurred during the time they didn't exist. They would simply wake up from a deep sleep with a horrible headache and a few memories of a distant nightmare. Plus, it was the Angel's duty to save the person, not push them forward to making a fatal choice. They would just wait and try again.

Trix eyed Carrie, who was squinting her eyebrows as if having a hard time understanding the task before her. In a crisp tone, Trix said, "Are we clear, Ms.

Buchanan?"

Carrie snapped out of her daze, moving her eyes to Trix. She hadn't realized she had dazed off in front of Lorelai Gilmore I. That was a big no-no. She was a nice woman, sure, but only when she wanted to be. She was very worthy of her high position in Heaven and received much respect, but she was not one to show any signs of stupidity or inadequacy in front of. That only brought around sarcasm and dry humor. Sitting up straight in her seat, Carrie said, "Yes, Trix—uh, Mrs. Gilmore."

Trix emitted a tight-lipped smile. "Good. Now, before I send you, you must be brushed up on your facts about Lorelai Gilmore."

With that, Trix turned in her seat to face the back wall, which had evaporated, a big screen TV appearing in its place. On it, a picture of Lorelai when she was a baby was frozen in place. Trix motioned for Carrie to pay attention, and she glued her eyes to the screen. Trix kept her eyes narrowed on Carrie for a few more seconds. _Strange creature_, she thought, before turning to face the screen as well.

"Here we go," Trix said, as the screen sprung to life.

_Lorelai, age 7_

"Lorelai! How many times do I have to tell you! Quit mussing your dress!"

A young Lorelai growled as Emily Gilmore forced her to sit down in a fancy, wooden chair. Lorelai was wearing some ridiculous poofy white dress, her hair in big curls with a big white bow pinned in the back. Her mother, who was disgruntled and scowling, smoothed out the ruffles on the dress and straightened the collar. It was obvious that they were at some kind of function where spinning and giggling in the main hallway were inherently frowned upon. Which was exactly what Lorelai had been doing when her mother nearly snatched her bald.

"But, mommy, I'm bored," Lorelai whined, staring at her mother with a look of distaste in her eyes that seemed mature for a girl her age.

Emily simply glared at her as she continued to pull at her dress, straightening out wrinkles that didn't even exist. It was clearly obvious that she wasn't too pleased with her only child at the moment and didn't really care for her feelings either. "Lorelai,

quit behaving like a child."

Lorelai huffed at this comment, crossing her arms over her chest. Quit behaving like a child. That's what her mother _always_ told her when she was trying to have fun, even when they were at home. She didn't get it. She _was_ a child. Wasn't she supposed to act like one? At least being able to enjoy herself every once in a while would be nice. But, Emily was always hanging over her shoulder, like a vulture ready to attack.

Emily finished adjusting Lorelai's dress and stood up, brushing off her own dress. Sending one last glare at her daughter, she said, crisply, "You will sit here until we leave. Any more twirling and you'll hear from your father."

Emily turned on her heel and sauntered off. Lorelai stuck out her tongue at her mother's retreating back. Her mother always used that empty threat on her, saying her father would hear about whatever horrendous thing she had done that time, whether it be running in the house or painting her nails or touching the Baccarat unicorn. Her father didn't have the heart to punish his only daughter. Unlike Emily, he was nice.

Lorelai hated living in that house. Her mother never gave her time to just _be_. She was always rushing her off to some function or "play date," which was really an excuse for her to chat with her DAR friends while their children schemed of running away to foreign countries. Even at seven, she knew she wanted out of that house and the society she was being raised in. She was suffocated.

Humming softly to herself, Lorelai picked at her dress, smiling at what her mother's face would look like if she tore off one of the flowers. She was about to find out when she heard footsteps and looked up to see Francine Hayden dragging young Christopher, who was about her age, by the ear. She knew Christopher from the many play dates and found him quite amusing.

"That will be enough!" Francine said, angrily, throwing Christopher into the chair beside Lorelai. "Next time I find you sticking your hand in the stuffed turkey or stuffed pig or stuffed anything, you will NOT hear the end of it. Understood?"

Rubbing his ear, Christopher muttered, "Yes, ma'am."

Francine sighed, smiling. "Good. Now sit here with young Lorelai and don't make too much noise."

Francine stomped away and Lorelai giggled when Christopher stuck his tongue out at his mother's retreating back, like she had done not so long ago. Christopher whipped his around to face Lorelai, breaking out in giggles with Lorelai.

"You stuck your hand in the turkey?" Lorelai asked through her giggles.

Christopher shrugged his shoulders. "I wanted to see what it tasted like."

This brought a fresh batch of giggles from Lorelai, as she said, "Nice."

Lorelai liked Christopher. He was just as oppressed as she was and, over time, she figured the two of them could leave the world they had grown up in for good.

_Lorelai, age 15_

Lorelai was sprawled out on her bed, a copy of _The Bell Jar_ clutched in her hands. She read the wordsintently, seemingly engrossed in the book. Every oncein a while, she would wave her newly paintedfingernails around like crazy, trying to dry them,nodding her head along with The Bangles record thatwas playing in the background.

Lorelai was beautiful for her age. Her long brown hair fell in curls past her shoulders, and she was thin, with small hips. Her blue eyes could captivate anyone's heart. She had blossomed very well into her womanly beauty, catching the eye of many teenage boys at her snotty private school. However, she only had eyes for Christopher. They had formed a strong friendship over the years, as he was the only one that would mercilessly mock the society their parents so devoutly worshipped. They were known for their antics at the society functions they were dragged to, such as sneaking in flasks to recreating TV shows for entertainment or creating sub-parties, which included plenty of alcohol and lots of laughs. Their friendship had suddenly jumped up to the next level when Lorelai kissed Christopher "just wanted to know what it would be like." After that, they found themselves kissing each other quite a lot. Heavy make-out sessions. And, after losing their virginity to each other a couple of months ago, they found themselves enjoying that quite a lot as well.

Lorelai looked up from her book when she heard a thud on her balcony. Dropping her book, she walked over to the window and peered out to find Christopher sprawled out on the balcony floor, rubbing his head. Lorelai giggled at the sight before opening one of the windows and slipping out to join him.

Plopping down beside him, she lay on her side, supporting her head with her left hand. Snickering at him, she said, "Whatcha doin?"

Christopher glared at her, now rubbing his elbows. He sarcastically answered,

"Well, I thought I was on my girlfriend's balcony, but I found some crazy lady instead."

Lorelai pretended to be offended, "Oh, shut it, you."

Christopher smiled before laying flat on his back, moving his eyes to the stars. Lorelai followed suit, throwing an arm behind her head. The two stared at the night sky for a few moments, glancing at each other occasionally. This was something they enjoyed doing; silently watching the stars together, just enjoying each other's company.

This Precious Moments act was cut short by Lorelai suddenly breaking out in laughter. Her face quickly turned red as she clutched her stomach. Christopher stared at her like she was crazy for a few seconds before saying, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Lorelai managed to speak through her fit, "I just can't believe you wrecked your Porsche so quickly."

Christopher rolled his eyes, moving them back to the sky. He should have known that was coming. His parents had just presented him with a brand new Porsche earlier that night in honor of his 16th birthday, and he had returned the gesture by wrecking it two hours later. Hey, it wasn't his fault. Those trash cans had jumped out of nowhere, the fact that he had been driving at 80 miles an hour in a residential neighborhood a minor detail.

Lorelai laughed for a few more minutes before collecting herself and looking over at Christopher. Noticing her eyes on him, he smirked before turning to look at her. Her blue eyes were twinkling and he rolled her eyes as she feigned the horror she had experienced while riding with him.

He playfully shoved her, "Come on, you enjoyed it."

"I was completely horrified." Lorelai answered, matter-of-factly.

"Na-uh. You wish we could do it again.

Lorelai giggled. "Ooh, dirty."

Christopher rolled his eyes at her favorite line. Smiling, he flipped over on top of her, causing Lorelai to jump slightly before laughing again. "You want to know what's dirty?"

Lorelai tried to act innocent. "No, what?"

Christopher lowered his head to hers, kissing her deeply. When they pulled away, Lorelai was smiling widely. "I'll show you what's dirty."

And, thus, the "immediate vicinity of the spot upon which was Rory's initial emanations" commenced.

_Lorelai, age 16_

Lorelai rubbed her stomach as the baby inside of her kicked like crazy. She was ready to get this thing out of her. The baby had turned to kicking her routinely, and Lorelai was convinced her mother had bribed the baby to do so. She had three weeks until her due date, and she was _ready_ to be due.

Sighing, she took a huge bite of ice cream, closing her mouth around the spoon. She had had killer cravings lately. She always ate a lot anyway, but being pregnant had sent that quota overboard. She knew she would hate herself later, but she didn't care. She was hungry. And depressed over the recent events.

Christopher had asked her earlier that day, for what seemed to be the millionth time, to marry him. Again, she had said no. It didn't matter that her parents wanted them to get married. She wasn't going to marry Christopher just because they were going to be parents. Although that qualified as a damn good reason to get married, she refused to do so. They were 16, for god's sake! She wasn't even sure she truly loved him! She didn't want to raise their baby in an environment that wasn't full of anything but love, from all three parties.

She knew that she would probably lose him, over time. He would move on with his life, and she would be stuck in the background, with a baby to take care of. But, she wanted him to live his life while he still had a chance, not tied down to a family that had appeared out of nowhere.

Emily and Richard weren't much help either. Especially Emily. She had definitely been in her element lately. Everyday, she found something to pick on her about. The most popular one was "Look what you've done." _You_ being the key word. It never seemed to occur to Emily that it took two parties, preferably a male and a female, to form a baby. At least she wasn't as distraught as Francine was. God, that woman drove her mad.

So, she was going to have a baby. A baby. She still wasn't really sure what to make of the whole situation, even though her due date was imminent. She knew she would love and care for the baby, that was a given, even if it was a boy. She would prefer a girl, but losers can't be choosers. And one thing for sure: she was not, no matter how many times her parents bribed her, raising her child in the environment she had been raised in. There was absolutely no question about it.

Lorelai beamed as the nurse handed her her baby girl. After several hours of labor and threatening to seriously hurt every single nurse and doctor present, she had finally pulled through. And, looking at her small daughter, yawning and opening and closing her eyes tiredly, she knew it had all been worth it.

Smiling, she brushed her finger softly over her daughter's face. She was so beautiful. She didn't think she had ever loved anyone as much as she loved this baby. Her heart felt as if it was about to leap out of her chest. She had a baby, a baby that was all hers. She could love and care for her; she could also educate her on rock music, good literature, fashion, and all the other essentials. She was anxious for this new phase of her life to begin.

"Honey, we need a name for the baby," one of the nurses said. Lorelai didn't even bother to look up. She already knew what her baby's name was. To hell with men naming their sons after themselves, she was going to name her daughter after herself and her daughter was going to love it.

Grinning like a madman, Lorelai said, softly, "Lorelai. Lorelai Leigh Gilmore."

**Love it? Hate it? Please review! I have 1866 hits on my story, and only 29 reviews. Those are not good odds! I love to hear your feedback:D**


	7. Chapter 6

**Thanks to: **_i dance with myself, Afw, __JessluvrLL4ever8987__, pottergurl427, ggpassion, TweetyBirdGirl, xhollywoodxheartsx_ **for the amazing reviews! You guys are awesome!**

**Of course, I always love more reviews…they're pretty nice! And they make me happy. :D**

**So, this chapter is pretty long compared to the others, and it was my favorite one to write. It's another flashback chapter. Just to warn everyone, my schedule's about to get pretty crazy (I just finished my internship last week and college stuff starts next week…but, in the one free week I have I'm STILL busy…basically, I have too much crap and I have to pack, somehow), so I may not be able to update for a while. But, please still read and review. I'm going to the Dave Matthew concert tomorrow, so I haven't been able to concentrate on much else I'm so excited! **

**Enjoy the chapter! **

**Chapter 6**

The room went silent as Trix turned to face Carrie. She was watching the screen in awe, as pictures continued to show on the screen; pictures of Lorelai with Rory when she was a baby, of her working in the Independence Inn in a fruity maid's outfit, of her chatting with Sookie with wine glasses in their hands. Trix smiled slightly at Carrie's apparent entrapment of Lorelai's life.

"Over the next eleven years, Lorelai went through many changes in her life. Not only did she give birth to a baby, but she moved out of her house and to the small town of Stars Hallow, Conneticut," Carrie's eyes were still focused on the screen, but she nodded along with what Trix was telling her. "She landed a job as a maid at the Independence Inn and, impressed by her skills, determination, and hard work, Mia, the owner, moved Lorelai up in the ranks until she was running the place. Lorelai was constantly busy with her job, but she always made time for her daughter. Rory was intelligent, witty, and Lorelai's pride and joy, her best friend. She refused to date because she never wanted Rory to get too attached to any man. Together, they formed a team. They lived in the shed behind the Inn for ten years until they were able to afford a house of their own..."

With that, Trix turned her head back to the screen as it sprung to life again.

_Lorelai, age 27_

"This is it, baby girl. We finally have our own house. Our own space to trash whenever we feel like it. Our own address, our own phone number, our own rooms…we can finally convince Al's to deliver here, since the shed is an "inadequate delivery option," we can have our own movie nights here while consuming more junk food then any normal human being should. We can blare whatever CD we feel like however loud we feel like—"

"Mom. Could you please open the door already."

"Oh, alright, alright…so impatient."

Lorelai pulled the key for the small blue house out of her jeans pocket and approached the front door, savoring every moment. She and Rory had just arrived at their new home and, after a sufficient amount of "oohing" and "ahhing," had stepped foot on the porch, where Lorelai had decided to give her little speech.

Lorelai beamed from head to toe as she inserted the key in the front door. This was it. This was the moment she had been waiting for. After saving up for years and years, she had finally saved up enough money to move her and Rory out of the shed and into a house, a real house. A place they could call their own. Their own home. Words couldn't even _begin_ to describe the joy she felt at this very moment.

She was brought out of her Happy Days daze when Rory spoke. "Mom. Open the door, come on!"

Lorelai turned around and smiled at her eleven-year-old daughter, who only glared back. But, Lorelai could see she was smiling on the inside, just as radiant as she was.

"Alright, here we go!" With that, Lorelai turned the key all the way and pushed open the door to their house.

Lorelai and Rory slowly stepped over the threshold into their new house. It was—bright, to say the least. The walls were painted white in the foyer and, with the sun beaming through the door and windows, it made the house shine. Lorelai smiled giddily as she started walking excitedly around the house, naming off every room.

"Here's the living room where can do all our living and watch movies and eat obscene amounts of junk food, and here's the kitchen where we can store shoes in the stove and your bedroom is right here, conveniently close to the coffee maker, might I add, while mine is all the way upstairs!" Lorelai sped off toward the staircase, jumping up the stairs two at a time, still babbling a mile a minute. Her voice drifted off as she made it to the second floor landing. Rory walked cautiously into her new bedroom, and almost fainted at the size. She couldn't believe it. Her own room, where she could have her own bookshelves. It was the most beautiful day of her life.

"So, what do you think?" Lorelai asked, appearing at Rory's doorway. Rory didn't reply, only hugged her mother tightly. Lorelai beamed, wrapping her arms around her daughter. They finally had a home.

The two Gilmore girls remained like that for a few more seconds before Lorelai unraveled herself from Rory to look at her daughter's face. "You happy, kid?"

Rory smiled, her blue eyes shining. "Yeah, mom, I am."

Lorelai squealed, saying, "YA-YA!" She threw her hands in the air as she yelled this. She then proceeded to clutch her hands together, a sparkle in her eye, as if she was scheming something. "Now all we have to do is get a puppy and we're all set!"

Rory eyed her mother warily. "You are not getting a puppy."

Lorelai gasped. "Why not?"

"Because you wouldn't have the slightest idea how to take care of it."

Lorelai mocked offense. "I'm sorry, you can't be my daughter, she's usually NICE to me!"

Rory rolled her eyes before passing her mother to go back outside. "Help me with boxes."

Lorelai groaned, leaning against the doorframe of Rory's room. She hated unpacking. Putting the boxes in the house meant you had to unpack them and unpacking meant you had to find a place for all your crap and then you had to find a place for all your boxes...Lorelai sighed at the thought. She was exhausted simply from thinking about it. Plus, she was lazy, and she didn't want to ruin the whole moving in aspect by immediately unpacking. This thought concept wouldn't make sense to anyone else, but she really didn't care. They weren't inside her brain.

"Mom!" Rory yelled, entering the house and lugging two boxes in her tiny arms. She set them in the living room before marching over to her mother and looking up at her, her hands on her hips. "We have to unpack."

Lorelai made a face. "I don't want to."

Rory sighed, crossing her arms. "Mom! We have to! We can't just leave all our crap out there."

"Yes, we can."

"No, we can't. People will think we're having some kind of garage sale and then they'll take our stuff and you'll lose your monkey lamp. Now do you really want that to happen?"

Lorelai stared at her daughter for a few minutes, weighing her options. She could either help her begin the long process of unpacking, or they could go get coffee. Mmm, coffee. Groaning, she slumped her shoulders, "No."

Rory smiled victoriously. "Good. Now get out here and help!"

Lorelai groaned again as she watched her daughter's retreating back. "Oh—what is happening to me!" She said dramatically. Rory whipped around to find her mother making weird movements. "I tried to walk and—my legs, they won't move! And, my arms...oh, they are heavy...so heavy, I can not lift them." She slouched over, her arms dangling, acting as if Professor Lockhart had removed her bones like he had done to Harry.

"Yeah, heavy with laziness." Rory retorted.

Lorelai snapped out of her dramatics. "Oh, you're no fun."

"And you're two years old. Now help!"

Lorelai grudgingly followed her daughter. "But I don't wannnnnna!" She whined.

Rory simply shot her a glare.

Lorelai stopped when she reached the front door. "Hey, I have an idea."

Rory turned around to face her mother, wearily. "No, I am not going to go on live television and claim I am Steven Tyler's other long lost daughter."

Lorelai waved her hand at this comment. "No, not that. I was saving that for next week."

"Gee, can't wait."

"Let's go get coffee!" Lorelai exclaimed enthusiastically.

Rory rolled her eyes. Coffee did sound good at the moment, but they needed to finish unloading the boxes. "But, mom, the boxes."

"They'll be fine."

"But—"

"Unless they have legs and walk away, I doubt they'll be going anywhere."

Sighing, Rory turned and walked back up the porch steps. "Fine, but you better be prepared to unpack when we come back."

"Where are we going if we're not going to Weston's?" Rory asked for the tenth time.

"You'll see!" Lorelai responded, giddily. They were walking through the town square, Lorelai's arm wrapped around Rory's shoulder. They had passed Weston's, their usual pit stop, and were headed straight towards Luke's Diner.

"Fine..." Rory grumbled. She hated being left out of things.

After a few more moments, Lorelai came to a halt and held her hands dramatically towards Luke's Diner. "Voila!"

Rory eyed the diner window warily. "The diner place?"

"Not just any diner place, Luke's Diner place. Or William's Hardware Luke's Diner place. I can't really figure it out, the multiple signs are really confusing."

The look of wariness on Rory's face had yet to go away. "But—I thought you said diners were gross and unsanitary and hang-outs for hookers."

Lorelai sighed dramatically. "You, my dear have been hanging around Emily too much. I came here the other day because Weston's was closed for some weird reason and I really, really REALLY needed some coffee, so I ran in here and bothered this guy in a backwards baseball cap wearing a really bad flannel shirt until he finally gave me some coffee. And guess what?"

"What." Rory replied, dryly.

"It is possibly the BEST coffee I have ever tasted! Hands down, ten times better than Weston's."

"But, Weston's is disgusting."

"Exactly. So his is like heaven." Lorelai sang the word heaven, throwing her hands around insanely.

"You're insane." Rory deadpanned.

"And his coffee pot is pretty." Lorelai cooed. She led her daughter to the front door and they entered, the bell signaling their entrance. Rory stopped dead in tracks and surveyed the diner. After deciding the 50s style tables and long counter were not that

harmless, and actually appeared clean, Rory shrugged her shoulders. "It's okay."

"Okay?" Lorelai asked, drawing out the short word.

"Well, yeah...it actually looks clean. All the hardware stuff is kinda cluttery, but other than that, it's fine."

Lorelai smiled and rubber her daughter's shoulder. "That's my little circus freak. Now let's sit!"

The two plopped down at one of the round tables by the window. Lorelai squished around in the chair, clapping her hands like a little kid. Rory tried to hide a smile as she watched her mother's crazy antics. After the proper amount of squishing, Lorelai looked at Rory, raising her eyebrows. "See? Not bad."

Rory caved. A huge smile covered her face. "Yeah, not bad."

Lorelai grabbed one of the menus from the center of the table and opened it, making "mm-hmm" noises as she read the choices. She made a face when she saw the listing for the Monte Cristo sandwich. Who actually ate the Monte Cristo sandwiches anyway? Personally, she found them disgusting. She had never had one, but they sounded disgusting. Cristo? Crisco? Too much of a similarity.

She looked over her menu to see Rory surveying a menu as well, her blue eyes darting as she read the words. She couldn't believe her daughter was eleven years old. She had grown up in the blink of an eye. Next thing she knew, she'd be attending university classes or joining motorcycle gangs or collecting social security. Social security? THAT was a scary thought. That would mean Rory would be 65 and she would be 81…wow, that was old. But, maybe it was a good thing they were only 16 years apart. That way, she could spend most of her life with her precious baby girl.

"Mom, you're doing that whole staring thing again." Rory's words snapped Lorelai out of her daze. Lorelai looked at Rory to find her staring back at her, her head cocked to the side. When Lorelai smiled, Rory said, "And, before you even start talking, I know what it will be about: that I'm growing up so fast and should join a motorcycle gang and Kurt Russell is really my daddy?"

Lorelai shook her head, contemplating what her daughter had just said, a serious look crossing her face. Then, she quipped, "Actually, I found out the other day your daddy is really David Bowie."

Rory made a face. "Ugh, gross Mom!"

Before Lorelai could continue pestering her with that thought, she bounced in her seat, exclaiming, "Ooh, there's the angry diner guy I annoyed yesterday to get coffee!"

Rory turned to see Lorelai pointing at a brunette man that had just appeared from the kitchen, holding hot plates. He was wearing a flannel shirt with a backwards tan baseball cap. He had a scowl covering his face that seemed as if it was permanently glued there.

"Maybe that's Luke." Rory suggested.

"Maybe he should really do some _major_ shopping." Lorelai replied. "Who wears a backwards baseball cap anyway? The kids from _Saved by the Bell_?"

"Hey, I like that show!" Rory said, defensively.

Lorelai patted her daughter's hand, "I know, honey, which is why we're getting you medicated next week."

Rory rolled her eyes as Lorelai turned her attention back to Luke, who was heading for their table. Recognizing Lorelai's eager face, he sighed. "Ah, jeez. You're that crazy coffee lady."

Rory snorted as Lorelai said brightly, "Well, not exactly the best stripper name, but I'll take it!"

Luke grunted, pulling out his pad and pen. Staring at the two blankly, he said, "What can I get you?"

Rory was about to tell him her order when Lorelai asked, "Are you Luke?"

Glaring at her, Luke replied, "Yes."

Lorelai, however, didn't seem to hear him. "Or are you William?"

Luke furrowed his eyebrows at this question, "What?"

Lorelai gave him her famous idiot stare. "Well, there's that William's Hardware sign out there with the Luke's Diner sign and that's kinda confusing. Especially for business. You know, what if someone came in wanting a monkey ranch and found out you serve food or they want a cheeseburger and you try to give them a hammer?"

Rory giggled as Luke stared at Lorelai in disbelief. He had never heard someone talk so much and so fast in his entire life. It was annoying and entertaining all at the same time.

Lorelai continued. "You should stick with one sign, man. Otherwise you're going to be getting people wanting to call you Luke and others wanting to call you William. And that would just start the cycle all over again."

"What cycle?" Luke asked, dryly.

"You know," Lorelai said, using her hands for emphasis. "The cycle. The cycle of hardware and food and names and crazy diner people and the other things."

Rory laughed even louder at her mother's jumbled up sentence while a look of annoyance crossed Luke's face. "Will you just order please?"

Lorelai sighed, looking back down at her menu. She stared at it for a few seconds before popping her head up, focusing her blue eyes on his. "Buuuut...what if I wanted a monkey ranch?"

"And what are you going to do with a monkey ranch?" Luke inquired, shaking his head at this woman's insanity.

Lorelai shrugged her shoulders, smiling mischievously. "I don't know. Buy other monkey ranches and make a big monkey ranch family."

Luke shifted his feet at this comment, shaking his head again and again. Deadpanning, he said, "Well, I'm Luke, and this is the diner. So you're monkey ranch family is going to have to wait."

"But, what if you were William?" Lorelai asked, her eyes wide, staring at Luke like a little kid at story hour.

"I just told you I was Luke."

"Yeah, but you could be lying."

"Why would I lie?"

"Because that's what diner people do, they lie. And then they try to act like their Luke and William and now I have no idea what name to call you!" Lorelai finished the last of her statement out of breath, slamming her head into her hands as if exasperated.

"But, I just told you I'm Luke."

Peering up at Luke, Lorelai quipped, "Yeah, but what if you were William."

Luke sighed loudly, giving up on making any headway with this insane women. Turning to Rory, he said, "Any chance she'll stop soon?"

Rory shook her head no through her giggles. "Not a chance."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Ah, jeez."

"But," Rory said. "If you give her coffee, she'll shut up."

Luke's eyes widened at the thought of giving this already hyperactive woman coffee. Nearly shrieking, he said, "She can't have coffee, she'll go bezerk!"

Rory responded, "Actually, no, it's what keeps her sane."

"I find that hard to imagine. Look, can I just get your order?"

"Two cheeseburgers and fries," Rory said quickly, folding her menu and placing it in the middle of the table.

"And coffee!" Lorelai exclaimed, bouncing her head back up.

"Okay, one coffee," Luke said, writing the order down.

"No, two," Rory said. Lorelai stared at Luke as if he had lost his mind.

"Two?" Luke questioned, looking back and forth between the girls, confused. Then, it dawned on him. His eyes almost bulging out of his skull, he pointed at Rory and nearly yelled, "She can't have coffee!"

Lorelai asked, calmly, "And why not?"

Luke gave Lorelai a glare that clearly labeled her crazy. "Because she's like 8 years old!"

"Eleven," Rory stated.

"Still! That's no age to be drinking coffee!" Luke was now throwing his arms around widely.

"Relax, Luke William," Lorelai said, thoroughly enjoying the exasperated look covering Luke's face. "She's been drinking it since she was four."

"FOUR!" Luke bellowed, his pen flying out of his hand. A customer ducked as it came flying towards him. Muttering something under his breath, Luke said, his voice low, "I'll get your orders."

"Thank you!" Lorelai cackled, grinning stupidly. Turning to her daughter, who also had a look of sheer amusement on her face, Lorelai said, "I think I'm gonna like coming here."

Trix eyed Carrie, wondering how much longer she was going to have to wait before Carrie put two and two together. Trix tapped her foot impatiently, her features growing more and more agitated. She was on the verge of telling her herself when Carrie let out a long and drawn out "Ohhhh."

Trix asked, curtly, "Yes, Ms. Buchanan?"

"So, Luke?" Carrie said, airily. "That's, like—"

Trix couldn't take it any longer. Cutting Carrie off, she said, "Yes, that's _the_ Luke. Lorelai's fiance."

_Lorelai, age 31_

Lorelai sat at her kitchen table, her legs propped up on one of the chairs. She was singing along to the rather loud 80s mix CD blaring in the background, adding in dramatic movements when needed. She was thumbing threw a Cosmo magazine, her eyes taking in the latest fashion and sending questioning glares at some of the outfits they declared "fashionable." She squealed as the CD changed to "Tainted Love." Jumping up, she began dancing around, moving over to the coffee maker and refilling her cup. She danced her way back over to the table and sat her mug down just as the chorus began playing.

_Once I ran to you (I ran)_

_Now I'll run from you_

_This tainted love you've given_

_I give you all a boy could give you_

_Take my tears and that's not nearly all_

_Oh...tainted love_

_Tainted love_

She sang along loudly and very off key to the lyrics, making interpretive movements for the lyrics. She was belting out a rather high note when the music stopped.

"Hey!" She whined, throwing her arms down. Turning around, she found Rory standing there, her finger on the pause button. Her book bag was still perched on her bag and she had something clutched in her right hand. "What you do that for?"

"Because no one in their right mind can think with Soft Cell blaring in the background." Rory said logically, setting her book bag on the floor but not letting go of the paper she was holding on to.

Lorelai frowned. "But, I like Soft Cell!"

Rory raised an eyebrow at her mother. "You like one song by Soft Cell, which we were just listening to."

"Yes, well," Lorelai said, attempting to defend herself. It was then that she noticed her daughter looked nervous. Anxious, even. "Honey, what's wrong? You look nervous."

Rory sighed, moving closer to the table. "Mom, I have something I want to run by you."

"Okay," Lorelai said, taking a seat at the table. Looking up at Rory expectedly, she took a deep breath and laid the pamphlet she had been holding on the table in front of her mother.

Lorelai picked it up and immediately made a face. "Bleh. Chilton."

Rory's face fell. She hadn't expected this reaction from her mother. She was hoping more for a jumping up and down kind of joy. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Lorelai made another strange noise before flipping through the pamphlet. "Private school. Uniforms. Hard classes! A regular day in hell, my friend."

"What?" Rory said, terror insinuated in her voice. Lorelai noticed the tone and glanced up. Seeing her daughter's horrified face, she spoke.

"Oh, no, honey, I didn't mean it like that. It's just—when I was your age, my parents tried to force me into every private school before finally landing on The University School of Hartford. Chilton was one they considered."

Rory's horrified expression however did not go away after this explanation. "So, you don't think I should go there?"

Lorelai immediately began babbling. "No, it's not like that. Chilton was a good school. _Is_ a good school, a great school. I just was more concerned at the time with following The Bangles around the world. And then—" suddenly, Lorelai stopped, moving her eyes to Rory's. A smile creeping up on her face, she said, "Wait. Are you thinking of applying for Chilton?"

Rory shook her head slowly, anxious for her mother's reaction. "Yes."

Lorelai squealed, jumping up and wrapping Rory in a hug. "Oh, honey, this is great!"

Rory smiled, returning her mother's hug. She was now bouncing up and down immediately. "So, you think it's a good idea?"

Lorelai pulled back to look her daughter in the eye. Sincerely, she said, "Yes. A wonderful idea. Then you can go to school with those snotty socialites and go to Harvard and overseas to the trenches and be on CNN and C-Span and shower me with all your money—"

"Mom, mom, you're rambling."

"Right." Lorelai said, giggling. Poking her daughter's stomach, she exclaimed, "Honey, this is fantastic!"

Rory let a huge grin cover her face. Hugging her mom one more time, she grabbed her book bag and ran into her room. "I'm gonna fill out my application!"

Lorelai beamed as she watched Rory carefully pull the application out of her book bag. She couldn't believe it. This was absolutely amazing. Chilton? You had to work hard to get into a school like that, but Lorelai knew Rory could do it. Hell, Lorelai would do anything to get Rory into that school. Because she deserved it. If any kid deserved to wear plaid everyday, Rory did. She certainly did. And Lorelai liked to think she could credit herself a bit with Rory's intelligence and upbringing. What a truly amazing kid she had.

Trix turned to face Carrie again as the screen went blank and evaporated into thin air, immediately being replaced by the wall. Carrie's mouth was still gaped open, in awe of this beautiful woman she had just been introduced to. And, at the same time, confused at how her life could have spiraled down so drastically.

Trix moved her chair back to her desk, clasping her hands and setting them on the chestnut desk. "Over the remaining years, Lorelai's life began to fall into place. It was like watching pieces of a puzzle come together. Rory graduated from Chilton as valedictorian and went on to Yale. Lorelai suffered through the loss of the Independence Inn, but pulled through shining, opening the Dragonfly Inn about a year and a half later. The Dragonfly Inn truly screamed Lorelai Gilmore; she had put her heart and soul into the Inn, and it showed. Then, of course, Luke entered her life. Her love life. The two began dating and the next minute, were engaged. She had never loved anyone as much as she loved Luke, and that scared her. That is why you are here today."

Carrie shook her head slowly, soaking it all in. Trix prayed to God that she actually was understanding the words coming out of her mouth as she shook her head.

"And, as you can see by these moments in her life, she truly had a wonderful life."

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 7

**So…next chapter! Hope you all enjoy! Please leave comments and reviews! I'll be out of town this coming week and then I have to go to a retreat for the school newspaper and then school starts back so…I'll update when I can! **

**Chapter 7**

Lorelai broke out in a jog as she made her way over to Babette's house. She found it simply remarkable that she had run more in the past twelve hours of her life than she had ever run before. But, trying to win your fiancé back and then realizing you, somehow, had never existed, definitely qualified good reasons to run.

She stomped up Babette's front steps, finally coming to a stop when she was facing that tiny door. Here it was. The moment of truth. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for the outcome. She was praying that Babette would open the door laughing and say it was all a prank, suga. More than anything, that's what she wanted to see on the other side. But, something inside of her told her she would find

another confused face when Babette opened the door. And that's what scared her shitless. If Babette didn't recognize her, than she would know there was something not right with the world...and she didn't know how well she could handle that.

Holding her hand up to the door, Lorelai considered running away for just a moment. One moment. Maybe not existing wouldn't be so bad. She could start all over, in another town, with another life, another man. Create a brand new Lorelai Gilmore. It could be an interesting adventure.

The thought quickly terminated itself in her mind as she remembered she wouldn't, couldn't, can't live without Rory or Luke or Sookie or The Dragonfly. Even Paul Anka. She had to get to the bottom of this. So, slowly, she moved her hand forward and knocked three times on Babette's door.

Nothing.

Lorelai tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for a reaction to her knock. A few seconds passed. She was getting impatient, anxious. She was about to knock again when she heard someone rummaging around inside, mumbling something to themselves. Recognizing Babette's distinct accent, Lorelai straightened up and fixed a smile on her face. A few seconds later, she heard someone struggling with the door before tossing it open.

Lorelai's smile faltered immediately. This was not the Babette she knew. Standing in front of her was definitely _not_ the Babette she knew. Instead of the perky, curly-haired blonde she had grown so accustomed to, she was faced with a sour looking woman whose features seemed ages older than she actually was, as if her skin had grown up 1000 times faster than she had. Babette's usually spunky curls were loose and dried up, and her blonde hair color was replaced with a light brown one. She was dressed in a bathrobe that looked as if it was permanently glued to her body. And, to top it all of, she was holding a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other. Lorelai found this completely horrifying as it was only around 8 in the morning. Here she was, facing Miss Hannigan.

Before Lorelai could bring herself to say something, Babette snapped, "Whaddya want?" She took a long drag of her cigarette, eying Lorelai suspiciously the whole time.

"Um-erm," Lorelai stumbled over her words, almost forgetting what she had come to discuss in the first place. She was so astonished by Babette's appearance that she was at a loss for words. Literally.

Babette continued to eye Lorelai, taking a swig of her beer. After a few more minutes of watching Lorelai stumble over her words, she said, irritably, "If you're not gonna say anything, then get the hell offa my porch."

Lorelai snapped out of her daze at these words. Who was this woman? She was irritable, unkempt, and smoking...this was not Babette. At least not the Babette she remembered.

Noticing Babette becoming more and more irritable with her muteness, Lorelai finally managed to choke out, "Babette?"

Babette narrowed her eyes when Lorelai said her name. Looking her up and down, she said, "How do ya know my name?"

Lorelai gulped. This was going to be way harder than she had expected. She had at least hoped Babette would at least be friendly. Well, that ship had sunk.

Lorelai stumbled over her words as she tried to explain herself, "Well, see...I, um, well..."

"Get to the point, suga!" Babette practically yelled, taking an extremely long puff of her cigarette and blowing the smoke out through her nose.

Lorelai wrinkled her nose a bit at this action before speaking. "Yes, okay...here's the thing. I live next door."

Babette's features changed a bit at this remark. "Are you family?"

"Family of who?" Lorelai asked, confused.

Babette fixed with her a glare to kill. Uh-oh, Lorelai thought. "Dean! Lindsey! The two sickening lovebirds that hate each other!"

Lorelai pulled her head back at this comment. They hated each other? How did that make sense? "They—they hate each other? But they're married!"

Babette waved her hand in the air, as if the word "married' meant absolutely nothing. "That don't mean nothin'. They hate each other, ever since she had that little wad of terror." Lorelai choked back a laugh at this kind reference to Lindsey's baby. So, they hated each other. But, why? That didn't seem to make any sense. Sure, Lindsey had been a little bitter, but hate? Hate she didn't get.

"Why?" Lorelai asked, simply.

Babette stared at her like she was crazy for a few moments before answering. "He's never been there for her. Always got an attitude. He's still in that playboy stage of his. Nice kid, but untamable. Rumor is he never found his true love."

His true love. Lorelai mulled over these words. He never found his true love. Then it hit her. Of course! How could she have not seen it before? Rory had been his first true love, his only true love. She had rejected him, eventually, but, for a while, he had loved her, he still loved her. He was never able to get over that fact, but at least Rory had tamed him a bit. However, with no Rory...than Dean would have to resort to second best, Lindsey. Also, with no Rory to break up the already tense marriage, the two were stuck together. Lindsey having given her whole heart to him, but fearful that he would leave with her at the drop of a hat. That was the look she had seen in her eyes earlier.

Lorelai shook her head in understanding. Babette watched her for a few moments before saying, "So, are you one of his flings?"

"What?" Lorelai asked, appalled. Jeez, what was it with people assuming she had had an affair with Dean? Did she look like the affair type? Laughing nervously, she pulled her jacket tighter around her body, covering up any evidence that she had breasts. Or anything feminine. Stuttering, she said, "No, Babette, I'm not a fling."

"Shame, he's a nice lookin fella, I'd do him. Jesus, after Morey left, I'd do anyone." Babette said casually, taking a long drag, following it with a gulp of her beer.

Lorelai's eyes widened at this. Morey had left? But—why? They had been so perfect for each other. Sure, he could hardly fit into her house, but who could? It was made for the Keebler elves. They had loved each other, what had gone wrong?

"Morey left? Why?"

Babette shrugged her shoulders. "Son-of-a-bitch took off about six years ago. Couldn't take it anymore, he said."

Lorelai's head was becoming foggy from these loose pieces of information. None of it made sense. "Couldn't take what?"

In any other situation, Lorelai was sure that this different Babette would have yelled at her for being so damn nosy. But, her eyes softened as she delved into Morey's story. "We had this darlin cat. Name was Cinnamon. God, we loved that cat. Took care of her like a child."

Lorelai smiled as the memory of Cinnamon. They really had loved that cat. No one in their right mind makes a wagon for their cat unless they truly loved it.

"But, then, she died! And we couldn't take it. I was a wreck and Morey couldn't even play the piano. We were torn apart. I had no one there to carry me through it. Morey wouldn't even talk to me. And then—he left!" Babette's eyes glistened over as she got to the last part. She stayed that way for a few seconds before shaking it off and turning her attention back to Lorelai, eying her again. "How do you even know about Morey anyhow?"

Lorelai chose to ignore that particular comment. She was sick of talking about Dean and Lindsey. She didn't even like Dean and Lindsey that much. And the story of Morey leaving was depressing her. He had left because she hadn't had a friend? But, what about Ms. Patty? Lorelai tried to choke down the tears as she remembered she had been the one to comfort Babette the most after Cinnamon's loss.

But, enough about Cinnamon. She wanted to find out about Lorelai Gilmore.

"Um, listen. Do you know who I am?"

Babette raised an eyebrow at this comment, before surveying her body. She tapped her foot slowly, finally moving her eyes to Lorelai's face. Answering, she said, "No, suga."

Lorelai had to be sure. "You—really don't, Babette?"

Babette was getting irritable again. "No, I don't! And where do you come off calling me Babette, how do you even know my name?"

Lorelai hung her head at this comment. That was it. That was the signifying action, the red flag that let her know she had really entered the twilight zone or Gaarder's _Sophie's World_. God, what if she had become like Sophie had at the end of that book? Nonexistent. Vapor. Unforeseen to the human eye. So far gone from the world that she couldn't even make contact with them, even get a cup of coffee. She had become a mythological human being.

God, that was a depressing thought. No coffee? And to never be able to make contact with her family, her friends, ever again? At least Sophie had had been joined by others who had evaporated from the world, forming a kind of philosophical group. Granted, some of these persons were Batman and Snow White, but at least it was contact, some kind of contact. But, still, she had been cut off from the world entirely. Lorelai was satisfied to at least know she could make contact with Babette. But, what was better? Having contact with the real world and being alone on the other side, or having the contact on the other side? Both sounded completely horrible to her.

Had she never existed to these people? What had happened? God, she needed answers, something to tell her what was going on. She couldn't figure it all out on her own. Hell, she could hardly figure a math problem out on her own, and this wouldn't be easier.

"Suga, are you alright? You're startin to get a little pale." Babette stated, a small touch of sympathy in her voice. Lorelai shook her head nervously. She forbid the tears from coming that felt imminent and tried to stop her body from shaking.

"I-I have to go," Lorelai muttered, turning quickly on her heel and racing down the front porch steps.

"Alright suga, but if you're ever up for a drink, you know who to call!" Babette yelled after her in her raspy voice before stepping back into her house, muttering, "Strange braud. Beautiful, but strange." She slammed the small door shut behind her.

Lorelai yelled in frustration at Babette's offer. How did this all happen? _ If she was ever up for a drink?_ Sure, the old Babette had drank, but she had never pictured her as someone to drink starting at 8 in the morning. She had never been that woman. And no Morey? What had happened to this town? What had happened to her life?

She needed answers desperately, and she definitely hadn't gotten any from Babette. But, who else was there to ask? She would have to go into town...but, she wasn't so sure she would be prepared to see what the town would look like. She had a feeling that it would be completely different. And what about Luke's? Her heart nearly stopped as this thought floated into her mind. What would Luke be like? Would he be just as grumpy? What if he was married to someone else? There was a million "what ifs" but, so far, no answers.

Determined to figure out what the hell was going on, Lorelai broke out in a run headed for town. She had barely made it ten feet when someone popped out from behind a nearby tree and Lorelai ran smack down into them.

"Oh, jeez!" Lorelai yelled as she was knocked backwards into the grass. Her head hit the ground forcefully as she managed to blurt out every curse word imaginable. Before she was able to regain herself and stand up, she blacked out for a few seconds, the world seeming to melt away from beneath her. She thought for a moment that she was dying, which seemed like an okay possibility at the moment, when she regained consciousness and fluttered her eyes open. She gasped at what she saw. Lingering over her, a half concerned look on her face, was an angel.

At least she looked like an angel. Lorelai tried to sit up, but found her body was too heavy to move. She groaned as pain shot through her entire body and lifted her hand to massage her head. "Ow," she muttered, as she tried to move again. Giving up, she focused her attention on the face in front of her.

"Who are you?" Lorelai asked, almost rudely. Why was she all up in her grill? Grill? Where had that come from? God, this alternate universe was really making her act crazy.

"Hi, Lorelai," the angel said, brightly, her voice high-pitched and sunny. Lorelai winced when she talked.

"Could you lower the decibel level please, your voice is giving me cramps." Lorelai rubbed her head again, shaking it a bit as she regained her surroundings.

"Oh, sorry," the angel said, apologetically. She managed to keep that stupid grin plastered on her face. She reached forward and helped Lorelai stand up. Once Lorelai was on her own two feet, she shook out a bit, rubbing her forehead again. God, she had the worst headache ever. She wondered if the angel had any Tylenol. Probably not. Did they even use Tylenol in heaven? Probably not. They were angels. They could fix anything.

Lorelai surveyed the female angel who was smiling at her, her wide puppy dog eyes focused on her. She was very pretty. Her brown hair fell in curls past her shoulders and her chocolate eyes sparkled in the sun. She wore a simple white gown and had perfect skin. She looked so delicate, yet so steadfast and strong.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to come at you like that," the angel said, rushed, looking sympathetically at Lorelai.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, nothing a nice anvil wouldn't fix," Lorelai said, quickly, running her hands through her hair. She then asked for the second time, "Who are you?"

"Oh, me? I'm Carrie, your Guardian Angel."

Lorelai thought surely she had heard wrong. Her what? She didn't even think Guardian Angels existed. Sure, they were a nice concept, and gave you a little comfort, but she had never actually believed in them. They weren't real, just like unicorns and the Loch Ness Monster and healthy food. Something you speculated about but, in reality, didn't exist.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you right," Lorelai said.

Carrie continued to smile like a maniac. "I'm your Guardian Angel."

"The wind—it's just really loud," Lorelai said, waving behind her.

"I'm your Guardian Angel!" Carrie yelled, a bit defensively. A few seconds later, she turned to the sky and said, "I'm sorry, I'll try a softer approach."

Lorelai watched this Carrie with her mouth gaped open. Guardian Angel? Was she _serious_? She couldn't be real. She had never seen her before in her life. And who had she been talking to? It just got more confusing by the minute.

Lorelai, after choking on her own words, finally managed to point at Carrie and then the sky. "What—who—what was that?"

Carrie waved her off, "Just my superior, Trix. She tends to get demanding."

"Trix?" Lorelai question, raising any eyebrow when her grandmother's name was mentioned. Okay, this was starting to get weird. How did she know Trix? Trix was dead! Even though Lorelai was sure Trix was still causing all kinds of trouble when she was dead, it didn't matter because she was DEAD. As in gone from this earth.

Then, a thought slowly started to dawn on Lorelai. This Carrie claimed she was an angel. Trix was dead. Then it would almost make sense on how they knew each other...

Lorelai let out a regular Joey scream as she pointed insanely at Carrie. Carrie jumped back a bit at this outrageous action before calming herself and giving Lorelai time to finish her freak out.

And Lorelai was certainly freaking out. A Guardian Angel? She had a Guardian Angel? This was insane! She had someone that watched over her and protected her over move? She almost couldn't wrap her mind around it.

But, then something began to dawn on her. A Guardian Angel could help her. Tell her what the hell was going on. Clue her in to why she had suddenly evaporated from the earth. Then maybe she could start filling in the blanks.

Refocusing her attention on the woman standing in front of her, Lorelai said, "Umm—erm—so…Guardian Angel, huh? Did I win the lottery or something?"

Carrie wrinkled her forehead in confusion, "What?"

Lorelai waved her off. "Nothing—just, talking crazy—so—"

"I'm Carrie," Carrie said, holding her hand out. Lorelai looked at it apprehensively before holding her hand out and shaking Carrie's. "And I'm here to help you."

"Great," Lorelai said, sighing with relief. "Do you think you could get me back to reality now?"

Carrie shook her head slowly. Trix had warned her that Lorelai was impatient and would be anxious and eager to be placed back in her reality. But, she needed some time away from her world to unwind her mind and realize she wasn't a road block to everyone in her life. "No."

Lorelai snapped, "What?"

Carrie held her hands out simply. "You asked to not exist, you got your wish. Now you must realize what to do with it."

Lorelai stomped her foot in frustration. Dammit. She had hoped this so called Guardian Angel could fix her life, but apparently not. Apparently, she had to go through several trials beforehand to get there.

"Fine," Lorelai said, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "Where are your wings?"

Carrie chuckled a bit at Lorelai's sudden question. "I haven't earned them yet."

"What?" Lorelai asked, raising an eyebrow. Hadn't earned them? What kind of nonsense was that?

"I have to earn them." Carrie said in a chipper voice. She continued to smile at Lorelai. When she noticed Lorelai was still glaring at her, she continued talking. "So, you got your wish. You don't exist. You never existed. And, now you get to see what Stars Hallow would be without you. What those around you would be without you."

Lorelai shook her head slowly, taking in everything she was saying. What a scary thought. It was now confirmed that she didn't exist. And now she got to see the town without her? She didn't know if she could handle that.

But, she had to. She had to know. She had to see Luke. Suddenly, she took off running in the direction of the town.

"Lorelai—wait!" Carrie yelled after her. She watched Lorelai's retreating back for a few seconds before breaking out in a jog herself. "Lorelai, slow down! I don't know if you're ready for this! Stars Hallow is going to be completely different! Lorelai!"

Lorelai ignored Carrie's desperate yells and continued running, not even bothering to turn around. Her feet were aching and she was out of breath, but she couldn't stop. The town was just ahead.

"Lorelai!" Carrie yelled out in one last desperate attempt, but it was useless. She had wanted to prepare Lorelai for what she was about to see, but it was too late. Lorelai had come to an abrupt stop at the edge of town, moving her head slowly as she surveyed Stars Hallow.

This was _not_ the Stars Hallow she knew.

**TBC**


End file.
